Tuesday, 5 May 2015

No cure for Multiple Sclerosis

How does that make me feel? Pretty darn upset is the mild term, I have primary progressive Multiple Sclerosis which means no relapses just onward progression of my symptoms. I have been fighting this for over twenty years now and I am exhausted, I can't walk any longer, I do manage to cross the landing with the aid of my zimmer frame. I spend my days in my wheelchair, it is a very nice wheelchair but believe me when I say sometimes my heart breaks when I see someone walk past or maybe running for the bus. It hurts!
 I tend not to go out because of the effort required wears me out, fatigue is a huge thing with Multiple Sclerosis. It is more sheer exhaustion than feeling tired. Effort required to do something has to be paid for and you know the trip out is going to leave you with muscles that are screaming at you , it's unexplainable but it is exhaustion beyond exhaustion and can take days to recover back to just feeling one's norm. And believe me when I say more is not good it's a feeling of discomfort that is just there I live with it and even painkillers don't remove it fully.
There are all sorts of other things that MS throws up, Constipation is a real problem. My bowels don't function properly and cause all sorts of embarrassment. I am ruled by my bowels. Plus acid reflux causing heart burn or indigestion. Oh and bladder problems which are now sort of solved by my catheter. But that causes problems of its own. Bladder infections can cause my MS to shut my body down so I am unable to lift my arms or legs off of the bed,now that is scary because your mind races ahead, telling you maybe  you will never move again this is you future laying here unable to move drinking through a straw. You always wonder what is next on this wonderful journey and seeing as my body is slowly giving up  am I forgiven for thinking the worst?
So am I upset about the fact MS has no cure? What do you think? I expect I am not alone in say I am way beyond upset but fretting over it won't change a thing. I have to live each day as it come fight whatever it throws at me and smile. If laughter really was the best medicine  I would be cured because if you can't laugh about it you would cry and laughter is more fun.

1 comment:

  1. Totally with you on that Don, keep on smiling & laughing, we need that x


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