Tuesday, 26 May 2015

Fatigue and Multiple Sclerosis

I went out to our daughters on Sunday for our grandsons birthday party.  Monday was a slow start, lots of sleep and watching television nothing to strenuous. Today I also have had a slow start. Although I feel more awake today I just have not had the energy to do anything. I have been in the wheelchair all day. Even if I had wanted to move I knew it wasn't going to happen, I was exhausted. One afternoon out with so much going on so many people to listen too, all that extra stimulation to my brain had exhausted me both mentally and physically. I know all I did was get into the car and was wheeled into our daughters house, but it's mentally strenuous. The ramps have to be placed like a seesaw over the front step I have done this several times but it tenses me up you can't help it being stuck in a wheelchair your brain works overtime. If I fall out of that chair it's gonna hurt. My mind knows this my body knows this and just because I am saying it's alright my mind and body don't listen.
So on the way in and on the way out I am fighting with my body and my brain. It's exhausting! No wonder for the next few days I suffer from fatigue. It's exhausting enough on a day when I am not going out but then you add extra into the equation I know when I get home it's going to take a few day R&R to get my body back to a sensible level of exhaustion. Fatigue is not just feeling tired it is much more complex, I am way past tired, I feel tired all the time, every minute of every hour of every day I struggle with feeling tired, I am writing this laying in bed and I am tired and I know I will feel just as tired tomorrow when I wake up. But my MS fatigue is every muscle and every sinew wanting to burst to break and say NO MORE but I have to disappoint them because I still have a life to live and fatigue management is how I roll.
I wish I knew how I manage, I just do. I have a fantastic wife who looks at me if we are out like we were Sunday and she says home. And whilst I won't and don't want to give in I know that she is right. I could have stayed but I would have had to pay the price. It would have taken even more time to recover. It's all about obtaining the right balance.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Thanks for taking the time to comment. I love to see your comments but will delete defamatory comments.