Saturday, 24 January 2015

Depression and Kings hospital baclofen pump trial

Anyone who follows this blog will know before Christmas I was very depressed. I am usually a glass half full type of guy but after over twenty years of a downward spiral with Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis the idea of another hospital visit and disruption to my world and nothing to show for it sent me into a fug of depression. I make no apologies, I don't usually suffer from depression but before Christmas I filled my boots. Since then I have had a great family Christmas and the help of extra anti depressants I waited for news about being accepted for the trial to see if I qualified for a baclofen pump. I went for the assessment and yes I qualified.
Last week the letter arrived and I am booked in for mid February. We have had test swabs done for MRSA and all things being equal I will be in Kings Hospital and having a test dose injected into my spinal colum for the trial in a few weeks time.
So how does depression fit into all of this? I take anti depressants on a regular basis possibly not such a surprise when  you consider I have suffered from Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis for in excess of twenty years. Before Christmas I had seen Consultants and MS specialists and discussed the possibility of having a Baclofen Pump fitted to deliver the  drug direct into my nervous system. That hopefully will enable me to move more easily as it relaxes the muscles in a way tablets cannot. You may well wonder why I got depressed over the possibility of being given the chance to change my life.
It may sound odd but after twenty odd years of nothing really making any difference to my MS I am at best sceptical that having this pump fitted is going to make my life any better. I know it's not the end of the world going to Kings but I went out for a couple of hours today and am exhausted so regular trips to Kings will knacker me. I am excited and sceptical in equal measure, I am after all a Libra so the scales are balanced.

Sunday, 18 January 2015

Little things can just tip the balance



It's strange and I know full well I have mentioned this before but the littlest of things can knock my life off kilter. The Times when you actually manage to get all the ducks in a row there you are jogging along not a care in the world and then the slightest thing comes along and bites you on the bum. I have had a regime in place for my bowels, I was going most days with only a slight upset over Christmas and for some reason with my tablets being changed prior to the holiday break I hadn't noticed my regime unravel. And then to top it off this week my catheter change was due. Over due by the time it actually got done. The procedure is straightforward nothing to worry about and is done by the District Nurse in a few minutes, no pain and minimum of fuss. But I subconsciously starting to worry. Worry affects my bowels and now I am constipated.
To add to all this I got less than three hours sleep last night. I didn't dare leave the house today and when I finished watching the snooker this afternoon, I turned the sound down on the TV gets set to close my eyes and yep you have guessed it everyone comes through the door and bang goes the nap. It's now twelve thirty and I am going to finish writing this and sleep. Let's hope thing's improve bowel wise tomorrow because if you see a news article about an exploding man it will have been me. Nite folks now to sleep.
PART TWO
Been in bed today fast asleep and evidently snoring. I eventually came downstairs at 6:30PM. Back in bed after spending an unsuccessful hour on the loo. Just watched Match of the Day now can't sleep see even the simplest of things can mess things up.

Saturday, 17 January 2015

what passes for news

I am wide awake, I opened my eyes when the numbers on the clock said 03:15 now don't get me wrong I am not numberist or anything but I never have liked those little numbers, you know the ones I mean the ones that are on the clock before the alarm goes off. Well because l could actually read the numbers without squinting meant I was awake WIDE AWAKE.  And now those numbers are telling me it's 05:15 and Heather is making tea so I am signing off, I hope we get biccies.

Monday, 12 January 2015

Life expectancy growing shorter

I read in the Independent online article about life expectancy that we are expected not to live as long in future. READ ARTICLE HERE
I feel as if it is a direct result of the cuts made in Councils Social care and stupidly the way the NHS treats old people. There seems to have become a lack in funding for care in the community for seniors. This results in shorter life expectancy, one way of dealing with the funding crisis! Unfortunately cuts like those undertaken don't show immediately it is only know at the end of five years are the true results of the austerity cuts beginning to show. The problems on the horizon will be far greater because we are only about one third into the proposed reductions in funding.
I have friends who own care home's specialising in care for the Elderly and Mentally Infirm EMI and the cuts in funding have ment vast changes all down to the race to cut spending. I don't know what the answers are but I am sure the Elderly people who are often the last to ask for help will be the first to suffer.

Saturday, 10 January 2015

Bad hair day

Well with my last post about my trip out to the hairdressers today has almost left me tearing my hair out. Admittedly I would have had to use tweezers as my hair is all less than a quarter of an inch long. My problems started last night with my bowels playing up at bed time I was exhausted when I finally got into bed. This morning and I was still feeling rubbish so after a cuppa I plumbed to stay in bed and try and sleep it off. Heather woke me several times with drinks and the offer of food but mostly I refused and immediately went back to sleep. I finally got up and showered at six o'clock tonight. I was moving so badly I got back into bed as I didn't dare try and go downstairs.

Tuesday, 6 January 2015

Hair Cut and Argos

Heather wanted to take me for a haircut be for Christmas but I refused. I haven't been the full ticket and avoiding anything extra was one of my coping mechanism' s. Well yesterday I decided I couldn't put it off any longer and I bit the bullet and went. When I was really bad Heathers hairdresser cut it for me at home but getting out and visiting a hairdresser is a social thing as well as a practical thing. I have a good banter and have known the apprentice there since she was at college and she is now mid twenties and planning her marriage got a house etc. So it is a social thing and they know me, I stay in the wheelchair and have a number two all over and one of the girls in there shaves my neck with a cut throat razor, unfortunately she doesn't work Mondays so if I go on my regular day, which is Thursday next time I will get the cut throat treatment.
 I struggled getting into the car to go and even though it's only a short journey I really had problems getting out and into the wheelchair. As I said I have my haircut in the wheelchair and even with all my talking it was only fifteen minutes before I was struggling to get back in the car. I really had difficulty getting back into the car and I think I alarmed a few shoppers and both myself and Heather with my antics getting from wheelchair to car. Heather rather than bring me straight home took me with her to Argos. I stayed put in the car and a few minutes later she returned empty handed. We had to go and collect the stuff she wanted from another store locally. So by the time we eventually got home my legs were behaving and I got back indoors with no hassles. All that for a blooming haircut.

Saturday, 3 January 2015

Home Alone

Heather has gone for a coffee and a catch up with one of her girlfriends I never got invited but wouldn't have gone , it gives her chance to moan about me rather than to me. She is a real saint and puts up with all this stuff with a smile and we have a good laugh but it must get her down. Carers ar our lifeline and without them we would often sink. I cant even get out of bed without her help. Still the cats away and this mouse would play but there is not a lot to play with. I have the choice of dozens of telly channels the radio will play via the TV and I have the paper. We only buy one newspaper a week and that's the Saturday Times it has the TV guide and enough newsprint to last me for the other six days of the week. Given the choice of all these distractions I end up as usual on the laptop I gave the paper a cursory glance watched James Martin on Saturday Kitchen and now Nigel Slater is sending me to sleep, his voice is like syrup. I actually slept all night which is a surprise seeing as I slept all of yesterday. I was awake for less than five hours before I was snoring again.
Today kicked off at 6:00 but that was when I woke Heather makes me tea in bed (a job I did for her for over thirty years) and she finally got me up and dressed and downstairs for just after 9:00. I am now officially bored so maybe a glance at my Christmas pressie from the Vicar:- Fifty Sheds of Grey.
He has a wicked sense of humour and yes it is about SHEDS not SHADES of Grey

Friday, 2 January 2015

Heartburn and indigestion

I suffer in silence, if you believe that your soft in the head. Everyone knows what a martyr I am to my bowels. I can suffer indigestion after a glass of water so after feasting today I am now paying the price for over indulgence. Roast pork with crackling and five bird roast with stuffing roast potatoes and olives, then Stilton cheese and crackers. Washed down with red wine and some sixteen year old port to finish off. No blooming wonder I can't sleep, I turned Match of the Day off over an hour ago and Heather has just made tea. She claims she could hear me tossing and turning but I think she can't sleep either. Now I am sitting up my indigestion doesn't hurt so much but as I said I am a martyr and I suffer in silence. My dad had an hiatus hernia my brothers and sisters also have one but I don't ask my doctor, it seems silly to ask when I know what the answer will be.
I take gavescon and Peptac but tonight it ain't touching it. My own fault I can hear you saying but what would life be if I always ate plain food. I put it down to forgetting to take some peptic after the meal so I am to blame. Now you won't hear that very often I never accept the blame. Maybe it was Heathers cooking, yes it's her fault nothing to do with me over indulging. But it was worth it. How often do I get all of my family round the same table, the grandsons pulling crackers and party poppers our son and daughters revert to being kids when they all get together so a bit of indigestion and heartburn is a small price to pay for the fun I have had today. Happy New Year everyone and to top it all Tottenham Hotspur beat Chelsea, what a result.