I wrote the above paragraph over a week ago. It has taken me over three weeks but I have finally got round to calling the doctor. I actually saw her yesterday. She came out to see me knowing how difficult it is for me it makes it easier for all concerned and she gets a cup of Heathers tea. Win win all round. I have been feeling depressed about going to Kings hospital to see the specialist about having a Baclofen pump fitted. It's a scary operation fitting the pump under the skin on my chest and a tube to the spine to deliver the drugs direct into my spinal cord. As I said a scary operation. I am worried and this in turn has developed into depression.
They do say a trouble shared is a trouble shaved. Well whoever said it wasn't worrying about having spinal surgery miles from home. I know I am a whimp, I used to be a rufty tuffty builder but nowadays I cry a adverts on television and whilst I use man sized tissues I cry like a baby at the soppy Christmas movies on TV. My doctor has upped the antidepressants I am on and over night has written a list of questions that I should ask next week. I feel a bit better having got round to admitting that I am depressed but have spent most of today asleep. I don't know if that's the relief of owning up that I am worried or if the increased dose of tablets that has made me sleepy but I am exhausted and in bed typing this on my kindle so excuse any typos please. I put them down to predictive text not my atrocious grammar and grasp of the English language.