Sunday, 19 October 2014

Sunshine affective disorder

SAD or seasonal affective disorder or am I depressed? I don't like the hot weather I don't like the cold weather, it sounds like a weather related version of the three bears! I know that I have not been the full ticket for a few weeks but today I feel like crap. My bowels are a mess and have been for weeks not really bad but bad enough to make me not want to go far, I feel safe at home. I have got some pins and needles back. Pins and needles were a big part in my diagnosis twenty years ago and the return has me slightly worried, then there is the Baclofen pump tests in a few weeks time. I feel like my head wants to explode. I am laying in bed and my guts are gurgling, my whole body is falling apart. I had my ankles crossed in bed this morning and couldn't untangle them, that really confused me I even had a real sense of panic when it happened!
I put these dilemma down to SAD. Well I am pee'd off maybe border line manic depressive or most likely what is going one is I am feeling sorry for myself. Self pity ain't normally my thing but maybe if I wallow around feeling sorry for myself for a while I can make myself really depressed then I can talk about the old days and how much better they were with a sense of real authority. NIGHT FOLKS I am just off to practice crying myself to sleep. CYA all tomorrow.

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