Friday, 8 August 2014

Heat zapps me been asleep most of the day

Yep that's twice this week I have slept in till mid afternoon and I mean real sleep, wake up for a minute or two mouthful of squash and zongo again. It's the heat that is doing it to me. I am so weak even crossing the landing with my zimmer frame is a full scale operation. I was just reading a blogger with relapsing remitting MS say he controls his ms with diet. Am I jealous no but I am envious. I don't do jealousy. It is self perpetuating you start of with one thing about one person and then it grows and grows and then everyone is better off than you are. I gave that up a long long time ago. I am genuine when I say that. Jesus said we will always have the poor and I am living proof of that. I am pleased for people who get a new car and yes a tiny bit envious but envy is natural. I don't care they have got a bigger house, that means bigger bills, I am not too happy about the ones I have got so bigger bills no thank you. Bigger car means bigger insurance bills and believe me when I say I don't need to pay more insurance, or more fuel or more for tyres etc. Am I jealous no and I am pleased that person has the where with all to afford to do it.
What really gets my goat is my MS. No I have come to terms with it and how it's wrecked my body but other people's perceptions of me. I get hacked of hearing"you managed that yesterday or last week or something like that" because I did it then they expected me to be able to do it again. Fatigue is debilitating and knocks able bodied for six and for me I struggle to cross the landing on a good day and just because I did something last week and feel I can't repeat it this week ain't a slite on you it is me. I am knackered and I know it would take me two if not three days to recover. And no I don't give a toss that you think I am swinging the lead if you spent one hour in my shoes you would know I feel shite as default and exhaustion is the norm. So don't take it as personal it is me I accept the blame and actually I don't give a toss. Get over it

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